Blackout!
It was a little after midnight when the power went out. I had been fast asleep for a few hours, and now I was really up. Why? Because I couldn’t breathe. No, it wasn’t a medical episode; it was a powerless CPAP machine with a mask strapped to my face like the creature from Alien.
I lumbered to the kitchen, lit a candle, grabbed my phone, poured a glass of water, and sat in my “command” chair. I listened to the rain and the wind, watched the candlelight dance on the ceiling, read/listened to the introduction of a new book on prayer, and then turned to scripture (Psalm 42).
In this Psalm, I hear a conversation between three voices: ME, MYSELF, and I. Here is the text of my blackout voices conversing in that dimly candlelit kitchen.
ME: As a deer pants for flowing streams, I pant for you, O God. I thirst for you, for the living God. So when shall I come and appear before you again?
Myself: Hold on a second; I’m not sure I can come with you to see God. I am weary. Often, my tears have been my food day and night, while the world’s voices taunt me day in and day out, “Where is your God?”
I: I’m not sure either. Don’t you remember how I used to go with the crowd and lead them in procession to God’s house with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude-keeping festival? They aren’t such a crowd anymore; rather, they are more like a remnant. Where have they gone?
ME: How can you two be so downcast, and why are you in turmoil? Cling to hope in the Lord, for we shall again praise him, our salvation, and our God!
MYSELF: But I told you that I am weary, and my soul downcast within me, and it makes me remember the God of the good old days.
I: Yeah, wasn’t it amazing how God just flowed over us like waterfalls and breaking waves? Do you remember how the Lord commanded his steadfast love daily, and at night, his song would be within us as a reminder that he is the God of our life? But lately, more and more, I ask God, who I thought was my rock: “Why have you forgotten me?
MYSELF: I don’t know why I keep mourning the oppression of the world. It’s like a deadly wound in our bones while the world continues to say, “Where is your God?”
ME: Let me repeat; how can you two be so downcast, and why are you in turmoil? Cling to hope in the Lord, for we shall again praise him, our salvation, and our God!
Inspired by Psalm 42
The Lord is My Light, My light and Salvation: In God I Trust, In God I Trust.
The Lord is My Light – Berthier, Taize’ Community
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