2024.02.20

Reflections on “ALL”

As you know, my morning ritual at O’dark-Thirty is to have coffee with Jesus. Yesterday, I was baring my whole self to him after being convicted by the word “all.” I admitted that loving him with my “all” over the past four years of chaos has been hard.’

Even though we are called to love him with “all” of our hearts, my emotions have gotten the best of me more times than I care to count.

Even though we are called to love him with “all” of our souls, my spirit has vacillated like a flickering candle, dancing to and fro depending on the environment, never extinguished but swayed more easily than I care to admit.

Even though we are called to love him with “all” of our minds, my intellect often gets in the way, stepping into the forefront and justifying what the heart and soul are struggling with.

Even though we are called to love him with “all” our might, ambivalence brought on by the dance of the heart, soul, and mind can overtake me, causing periods of lethargy and even inaction interspersed amidst moments of great passion and action.

After admitting all this out loud to him, I looked over at my little candle that burns brightly in the darkness. I noticed two flickering wicks in a candle that only has one. I arose from my chair to look. It still had one wick, but it was reflecting cleanly on the glass behind.

It reminded me that even in times of wavering emotions, vacillating faith, justifying intellect, and ambivalence, I am not alone. The Lord was saying, “I’ve got you.”

I share these intimate moments with you because I know you suffer from the same “syndrome.” After all, like me, you are only human. And the Good Shepherd is truly our only:

“ALL” in “ALL!”