Help Me Rest in Your Presence!
And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. And Simon and those who were with him searched for him, and they found him and said to him, “Everyone is looking for you.” And he said to them, “Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out.” And he went throughout all Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and casting out demons. Mark 1:35-39
It’s been a long, long night. Before dawn, Jesus slips away to pray. It’s hard to shut down the emotions and mind after dealing with so many sick, troubled, and demon-oppressed. So much fear, grief, anger, frustration, and irrationality experienced throughout the evening. It is exhausting. The peace will soon be interrupted by Simon and the others. But for now, a little bit of ONE on ONE time.
I write this at 4:30 in the morning. It’s been a long 22 months. So much fear, grief, anger, frustration, and irrationality has been experienced. It is so hard to shut down the emotions and mind. I feel fatigued, broken, and deflated. Let me rest in Your divine presence. Time to pray. It’s time for a little one on ONE time.
Daybreak will come in a few hours, and my peace will be disrupted. It will be another day of dealing with brokenness while keeping my emotions in check while trying to share your love to the sick, grieving, confused, angry, and irrational. I am not worthy of this work; I am only human. I am not You. Yet you called me, and I took vows to serve them with passion, intelligence, imagination, and love. For the moment, help me rest in your divine presence. In a few hours, I will function under your divine power as I try to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with you and the people you chose for me to serve.
I love you Lord. Amen!